A Reply for Markoi

Dear Markoi,                       Tuesday, 22nd October

Who is this amazingly handsome and good-looking young fellow, whose photo you have sent to me? Obviously this seventeen-year-old aquatic Adonis is no relation of yours. At LWC, aka the London Water Closet, I do remember the one and only Mint, Mr Merriman, coming up to me and saying, “Your brother has the body of a young Greek god!”

Andy, aka The Sheep, has had several crime novels published and he does not seem to have made any money out of them. I only read the first one, Dead Drift, and it really was quite well written. In the book there was a “blurb” about Andy’s CV (or resume, as you Americans call it) and that was an even greater work of fiction.

As for me, I do not have any photos of my son or daughter playing water polo, so I am sending you a few pictures of Tina, our very fat and naughty Jack Russell. My dear wife says that Tina is lazy, greedy, and disobedient. Well, I think that she was talking about Tina.

You did not mention my blog www.bulgariawithnoodles.blogspot.com and so I can only assume that you have not bothered to read it. Bloody Markoi! I spent hours writing my splendid eulogy for RTD’s memorial service, only to be told at the last minute, by some dentally over-endowed character, that there would not be time for me to give my speech. Then I wrote loads of posts for my marvellous and witty blog and, sure enough, some big-eared twit never bothers to read it. You are a most exasperating person!

China! Yes, Irena and I were in Shenzhen for five years. It was an amazing experience: exciting, weird, seriously foreign and a bit scary at times. I really enjoyed teaching Chinese children. They were so hard-working, polite and adorably sweet. Even Chinese teenagers are nice. Yes, it is true. I used to think that “a nice teenager” is an oxymoron.

We were in Shenzhen, a modern city not far from Hong Kong. Some people say that the population of Shenzhen is 16 million and some say it is more like 20. (Still, what is a few million between friends, old fellow?) So by Chinese standards, Shenzhen is not a very big place.

I am not a big fan of the Chinese government, but the Chinese people are rather nice. There is something in the Chinese psyche that is good, kind and innocent.

Those are not adjectives that we can apply to your next president, due to be re-elected on RTD’s birthday. Yes, there are going to be some fireworks. The last time round, Trump was a complete idiot as POTUS and for his four-year encore he would be even worse. Project 2025 shows that he just wants to be a dictator, like his buddies, Kim Jong Un and Putin. As the Supreme Court is full of his appointees, it looks as though the grumpy Trumpy felon from Jamaica in Queens will be able to do just about anything. (Are you a fan of Randy Rainbow?)

Was Trump really humping the porn star, while his wife was pregnant? Should you believe a fake blonde with big tits or should you believe Stormy Daniels? If the Big Orange One is not elected, then I suppose that his MAGA hordes will try to do a re-run of January 6th, that shameful event that Trump called “a day of love”.

Here is our country house in Daveri, the American presidential election seems to be far, far away.

Best wishes from Bulgaria, that strange little country somewhere in Europe!

Simon