Dear William

Northaw, aka Norman Court

Dear William,

I am assuming that this is William that I am writing to and not your equally cheeky sister, Alice! How splendid to hear from you, after so many years! I seem to remember that you went to Eton. What did you do after that? Let's hope that you had the good sense to go to Oxford, rather than that inferior place out in the Fens. Did you join the Army like your dad? Or are you doing something musical? Or what? You had such a talent for annoying people when you were twelve years old, so maybe now you have a career in Politics.

I hardly ever hear from old Northaw people (or Norman Court, as we ought to call it now). I did get a message from Adam Weymouth, after his book won The Sunday Times Young Writer of the Year award. I even bought a copy of his book and it is rather well written. As for Unni, he is now in Australia, after he married an Australian young lady. As for Pia, she was making a good career as an actress on the London stage. 

I have had conflicting stories about what happened to Northaw or Norman Court after my departure. Some reports say that it has closed down and became a retirement home. Then there are those who say that it has re-opened as a school and now it is quite successful. I thought that Peter Thwaites was a really good housemaster at his previous school, Windlesham House, but he was not a great headmaster. Kevin Foyle was a lot better as a head, in many ways, but I have to say that I did not like the man much. I also think that got fed up with me, so it was pretty mutual! 

As for your former teacher, I am now too old and retired. You may perhaps remember that my wife is Russian, so we decided on Bulgaria as a sort of compromise between the Crimea and the UK. We also have another terrier, a Jack Russel this time. (You may perhaps remember that at Norman Court we had a naughty Fox Terrier called Zoika.) Being retired is a lot less stressful than trying to stop yet another argument between William Dobbie and Boris Pineles! (And whatever happened to the dreadful Oliver Poulton? Maybe he became a Conservative MP or perhaps he is in prison. Or both.) 

I very much enjoyed my last teaching job. It was in Shenzhen, just outside Hong Kong. (The population of Shenzhen is only 17 million, so it is quite a small city by Chinese standards.) Chinese children are absolutely adorable and amazingly hard-working. Even Chinese teenagers are well-mannered, studious and polite. Yes, they are a pretty weird lot, the Chinese! I used to write my blog almost every day when we were China, but over the years I have become a bit lazy.

Well, it might be that you are wandering through SE Europe one day, so please let me know and maybe we could meet for a chat and a glass or two. Please give my best wishes to your dear sister and, of course, to your patient and long-suffering parents.

I am sending you a few embarrassing photos, to warn you of what could happen if you ever have the misfortune to become a prep school teacher.

Best wishes, 

Simon Hill