A Model Husband


To be honest, I did not think that my dear wife Irena would get some more modelling work quite so soon. But I was wrong. As all of my regular readers will have noted by now, it does not happen very often, my being wrong, but it does actually happen occasionally.
 Anyway, Irena’s Friday morning meant a train journey to Guangzhou, surely one of the most impossibly-spelt words in that non-existent language known as Pinyin, and then five hours in front of the cameras. Just in case you are interested, “Guangzhou” is actually pronounced “Gwanjo”, but then how should (and how would) you pronounce “Cholmondeley”?
It was all in aid of a UK cosmetics company (I am not allowed to mention the name) and Irena’s job was to tell everyone how this company has developed an exciting series of skincare products and creams that use the power of Nature and plant extracts. Irisha’s speech was in Chinglish, a language that really does seem to exist and is in fact regularly used in China. She had to deliver the speech to the camera, while at the same time looking very intelligent, professional and convincing. The speech itself was garbage, as it was full of grammatical mistakes, exaggerated claims and pseudo-scientific twaddle, all padded out with the names of some faded celebrities who probably need to smear a lot of this expensive gunk onto their wrinkled faces. On Thursday night, we went through the speech together a couple of times and I must say her pronunciation was pretty good. (I hope no one ever asks me to do a speech in Bulgarian or in Russian!)
I think that the photos make Ira look about thirty years younger and very German. She looks as though she is about to give a Nazi salute, eat some strudel and drive off in a Porsche. Well, the reality was not so pleasant. She almost missed her train back to Shenzhen and it was nearly eleven at night when she finally got home.
I am not, of course, going to break my promise and circulate any of her modelling photos, but fortunately some of these photos of Irena came from the agent’s WeChat “Moments”, so really they have been circulated already. I did not even complain when she woke me up because she had forgotten her keys. I reckon that all of this makes me a model husband.


    
This is Irena's "model card" that she has sent to lots of agents.

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